The spring of discontent
Dear Friends,
this has been a strange spring, and not in a pleasant way. Nothing dramatic happened, nor anything definite I can point my finger at. But I do not feel like my old self, and I do not like this discontented new me.
The new me is even discontented of knitting. While this may sound trivial, (and may actually be mistaken for a healthy sign by those who regard intense knitting like an obsession), it is a clear sign of a deep shift within me, for whom knitting has always been a rich resource.
I do not attach any deep or mystical meaning to knitting, but I am an ethologist by formation, and I know my behavioral patterns, coping strategies and rewards. And now something is amiss.
Of course, it may simply be the burn-out effect of my demanding and stressful life; in fact, it most likely is just that. Still, I do not like it.
Along with the knitting, have gone my already minimal blog-reading and spinning. I do feel a bit too empty right now. And, as I said, not happy about it.
In other news, the second year of Vet School is over, and that is good. I have just been to Italy to meet my new niece, baby Emma, and she is the sweetest little thing ever. And I have a wonderful trip to South Africa planned for this summer, with my family. And that is just super fantastic!
So if i can just get this spring over with, I should be all set.
this has been a strange spring, and not in a pleasant way. Nothing dramatic happened, nor anything definite I can point my finger at. But I do not feel like my old self, and I do not like this discontented new me.
The new me is even discontented of knitting. While this may sound trivial, (and may actually be mistaken for a healthy sign by those who regard intense knitting like an obsession), it is a clear sign of a deep shift within me, for whom knitting has always been a rich resource.
I do not attach any deep or mystical meaning to knitting, but I am an ethologist by formation, and I know my behavioral patterns, coping strategies and rewards. And now something is amiss.
Of course, it may simply be the burn-out effect of my demanding and stressful life; in fact, it most likely is just that. Still, I do not like it.
Along with the knitting, have gone my already minimal blog-reading and spinning. I do feel a bit too empty right now. And, as I said, not happy about it.
In other news, the second year of Vet School is over, and that is good. I have just been to Italy to meet my new niece, baby Emma, and she is the sweetest little thing ever. And I have a wonderful trip to South Africa planned for this summer, with my family. And that is just super fantastic!
So if i can just get this spring over with, I should be all set.
posted by benedetta at 3:13 PM
8 Comments:
Hello--I know how you feel. I just want to say, "this too shall pass" and that I'm glad you posted to say hello. I hope this passes soon.
Oh Ben ! Don't be so hard on yourself. Life, especially such a full and busy one, can be overwhelming.
Give yourself permission to rest, have a break from things, miss your Mama. You know, all the things you are too busy to do. Stress manifests itself in strange ways at times.
Take care of yourself.
xxx
ben!!! i'm sorry you're feeling "off"
i wish i could offer some words of wisdom, but i can't since i find myself kind of feeling the same way.
but i'm glad you're popping up to say "hey" to all of us.
don't be a stranger.
I've always been a big fan of the just go-with-the-flow of weird emotional waves. I've never known any of them to stay forever. :)
There's been a lot of "off" feelings around blogland these days. Just know that we're here when you are, and your presence has been missed. xoxo, Elisa
Good to see a post from you! Like Maryse, I wish I could offer some wisdom from the other side but I can't, since I too am in the middle of it. I miss my old self, and don't like the restless, sad, wistful person living in my skin these last months. I want my old self back. Or at least a new, better, stronger me.
Hi Ben! Glad to hear from you. I have been having similarly unsettled-but-can't-put-my-finger-on-it feelings lately and I was just telling myself yesterday, sometimes you just have to be patient and wait for everything to shake out. Being patient is so much harder than problem solving!
thanks for sharing this with us: this is honest and right. hope you're feeling better as summer dawns as well...
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